Dreamer oh dreamer, you –
who are paralyzed in terror by the conjurings of your mind –
whose mind’s eye sees the blood yet to be spilled –
the cries yet to be heard –
the suffering yet to be felt –
Embrace the whole that is you –
Blinding light of the Angel –
The fire and fury of the Beast –
They are you, you are them
You are just a fleeting existence,
A daemon who stirred the ocean of unlife,
Cursed to see the truths beyond the veil,
Cursed to sample the suffering yet to come,
Dwelling in the cracks between shadows,
A soulless tool, witness it,
witness it all,
For you can bear this burden,
So others won’t have to,
Photo by Heorhii Heorhiichuk from Pexels
‘Tap, tap, tap…’ droplets of water fall freely in the half-filled tub steaming with hot water. Helen sits in the next room on the couch they used to share staring on the floor upon which he took his first steps. Little Adrian… her son and life, now gone. Memories come unbidden to her mind of their lovely laughter. Adrian’s and Victor’s. Their home was once filled with warmth of family and pure joy of life itself. Now, its icy touch creeps upon her pale skin, freezing the blood in her veins, her heart waning in the colorless days which go by without notice. Only the color of despair and shades of emptiness are her entire world. Victor was gone now, taking their son with them – “because of your erratic behavior, I won’t let your destroy our son,” – it said in the letter which now burns in the fireplace.
Did he ever really know the struggle of being different? Did he ever truly know how it was to be afraid of one’s own mind? Did he ever truly believe she would put her light and soul in the form that lovely bundle of hands and feet and toes in danger? How could he even imagine such a heartless act?
Heartless, that is what she was now. The pain of losing them both overwhelmed her and it has become too much to bear. The undeniable truth of that complete and silent loneliness bores inside her skull, and she can almost hear the accusations and the mockery.
To find that ultimate alone-ness in this uncaring universe… we are godless – we have always been. What questions do we ask ourselves? How do we explain this soul crushing division and loneliness? Are we forever doomed to traverse this universe in this alone-ness? What we wouldn’t give to fill this void of emotion and sensation… everything is so fleeting…
Even if some of us are doomed to walk this Earth frozen and alone… could we ever find that spark of solace in the company of another? Or are we cursed to walk and dream and die in vain?
Photo by Haydan As-soendawy from Pexels
Silence. That final, inevitable, thing following the last beat of the heart. The silence that is left in the crib after the newborn’s lungs draw breath no more. The silence after the symphony’s last note is whisked away to nothingness. The silence of the unspoken word. The heft of it. How frightening it must be.
The has glass shattered in thousand pieces,
Colors bleed from this bleak world,
For the blissful wellspring his soul hungers,
That he found in those twin emerald seas.
Thousand shards part the pale canvas,
Rivers of crimson follow their tread,
A moment’s respite from the sadness,
That torments his anguished head.